Night of the Wal-Mart man Redux
by KatyRye
Summary: The comedy about Grissom and Sara trying be romantic, but a maniac who hates wal-mart gets in the way M
1. Chapter 1

**This is my final Redux: Night of the Walmart Man ( which was its original title). I am dragging other old stories out of the closet, but they have either been deleted or no longer exist. As I said, I am done with 'Absentia'... I just need to actually post it.**

 **~8~**

* * *

Hello, my name is Sara Sidle and I have a confession to make: I have been dating my boss for the past few months. It hasn't progressed into a sexual relationship, yet I am hoping it will. The pent up tension is making us argue. Gil Grissom, my boss, is torn between giving in and the thought that sex would ruin our working relationship.

I have brought him to the edge a few times, and I know he was enjoying himself. Before we could continue, every time he did this, he would push me off gently and make an excuse about having a bill to pay or library books to return.

"That's a load of shit," I said one day.

I rebuttoned my shirt and picked up the item nearest me, a green throw pillow, and chucked it at his head. It hit him in the jaw and bounced off onto the coffee table. He sighed, looked at the pillow, and back at me.

"Honey, I don't know what to do," he said. "I want to go further, but I am afraid that … I'll ruin things."

I looked at him with a puzzled expression, the ones I always wore when people said stupid shit. "Do you have lady parts?" I asked. "Is it too small? Do you have crabs?"

"No, no, and no," he said. "I am perfectly male and crab-free."

I shrugged at him. "Then what?" I asked. "Why have we been waiting so long?"

Gil looked pensive, and I could tell he had a deep thought brewing. He was a deep man, often drowning people in the poetic mumbo-jumbo he spouted. It was romantic though; we really balanced each other out.

"I wanted to wait until after I told you that I loved you," he admitted, sitting back down beside me.

"Oh," I said in an 'I get it now' sort-of way. "Well, do you?"

"Do I what?" he asked.

I rolled my neck. "Jesus," I breathed. "Do you love me?"

"Yes," he said to me. "I love you very much."

I smiled and threw up my hands to him. "We can get it on now," I said with excitement.

I walked over to where he was and began to untuck his shirt for him. He put his hands on mine, but I knocked them to the side. It had been a long time for me, years in fact, and I needed it; I felt like a horny alley cat.

"But I don't want to just say it like that," he said. "This is important to me."

Those words made me stop, it would be bitchy if ignored something that was important to him. "Okay," I said. "Do you want to relax and talk a little? Or maybe go for a walk?"

Gil thought for a moment. "Let's sit," he said, sitting on the couch.

I sat down and cuddled (yes I cuddle on occasion) into him. One of his big, strong, masculine (What? A girl can say these things) arms was around me and I made myself comfortable. He was so warm and soft, I was very tempted to fall asleep. But I wanted hot lovin', and I was going to get it.

"When I first met you, I was younger," he started. "I was really involved in my career…"

I watched his lips moves and nodded in the appropriate places. He was a very tender and reflective man, always cherishing the past. He wasn't always like this; he had changed. Despite how sweet and endearing I found all this, I found myself wanting to hit fast forward.

"Are you listening?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, a little startled. "Oh yeah, babe. Of course."

He leaned back and folded his arms. "Then what did I say?" he asked.

I leaned back and folded my own arms. "You said that I mean the world to you and that you have as much sexual frustration as I do," I straddled his lap. "And you also said that I know all of these things and that I love you too."

Gil seemed surprised by my admission. "You do?" he asked.

I tilted my head back for a moment ( I actually wanted to give him a view down my blouse) and laughed. "Gil, I've always loved you!" I said. "I wouldn't move to another city for anyone."

At this, as if it had been the key to unlocking his animal instincts, he moved his hands smoothly up my back. I sighed at the way his hands were massaging me, sending chills to my toes.

"I love you, Sara," he said. "I love you so very much."

I sighed and squeezed his shoulders. "If that was all you needed to hear, I would have told you that a long time agao," I said.

I leaned down and he captured my lips with his own. His lips felt rough, but were somehow gentle. I loved the feel of his beard against my cheek; I wanted to become lost in him. I wanted to feel his skin; to taste it. I wanted our bodies to-"

"Shit," Gil said as he looked at the screen of his vibrating phone.

I shook my head. "Just put it back down," I said, lowering the phone to the table. "Youre asleep. You never saw it."

"Honey, I cant," he said. "I'm on call."

He answered the phone and I pulled back and pouted ( yes, I pout). I wanted my man with me, it was my time now. I deserved this moment in my life.

"Okay," he sighed. "Yeah, I'll be right there."

He looked over at me when he hung up. I raised my eyebrows at him and waited on him to speak.

"It's okay," I said ( sometimes he needed permission). "I'll be waiting."

~8~

Well I waited, but he never came back. I did a search of my home and came up with an assortment of sexy things: candles, champagne, and a few fake roses. When you think about it, there is nothing romantic about a fake rose, so I chucked them.

I waited until the last possible moment before going to work; I would have settled for a quickie on the counter at that point. Finally I gave in and pulled on my work clothes. I debated wearing painties, thinking that I could corner him in the locker room, but I put some on. Women don't have wangs, but the crouch can still hurt.

When I arrived, everyone was chuckling about something. I looked over my shoulder for a man in a chicken suit, didn't see one, and walked towards the break room. I passed Gil in the hall and he gently touched my elbow.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I need you to look at something."

 _Likewise._ "What?" I asked.

He held up a cassette tape. "This has to be the dumbest thing we've ever heard," he said with a laugh.

"I take it that's not X-rated," I said.

Gil shook his head. "I keep those at home," he bravely admitted.

I looked both ways and leaned into him a little. "Kinky," I purred. "I had no idea."

Maybe I shouldn't have worn panties.

~8~

"Have you ever gone to Wal-Mart and seen checkers at all the counters?!" A crazed man yelled into a camera. "It's childish! I am a hardworking, tax-paying citizen and I deserve to be checked out at the five-items-or-less counter when I have five fucking items! If I have to do this one more time I am walking in with a bomb strapped to me chest!"

I looked around at my co-workers. Everyone was doubled over. Catherine was clutching her belly, her head rested on the table. Nick kept rewinding the tape to his favorite parts and Gil kept talking in some high pitched squeaky voice.

"Is this legit?" I asked.

Gil nodded. "Someone dropped it off this morning," he said, trying to control his laughter. "But we need to go interview this nut-job."

"Not it," Nick said, jumping up. "I have an open case."

Gil looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Shall we?" he asked.

~8~

It wasn't too hard to find the Wal-Mart man; his address was printed on the tape. He lived in his mother's house, but then again what else did I really expect. It's not like a man who has so much hate and anger towards this business could live in a mansion.

His room, if I was allowed to call it that, was covered with newspaper articles about how Wal-Mart employees were treated unfairly and how unions were trying to form.

"So, why don't you just shop somewhere else?" I asked. "Target is pretty good. Or Home Depot?"

"How the hell am I going to buy a case of beer at Home Depot?" he asked. "And that's not the point, lady.

"When did this hate start?" Gil asked, trying to get him on topic.

Wal-Mart man leaned back in his chair like he was recounting a family story. "It all began when I was just a boy," he told. "I was in the toy section.."

I looked over at Gil; this was just a big waste of our time. Gil and I could be doing other things, not necessarily work related. I looked over at Gil who was pretending to be interested, but I could see the boredom in his face. The Wal-Mart man was talking about how price inflation ruined his childhood, but all I heard a bunch of nutso crazy talk.

My hunk-of-burning-love's eyes cut over to me and I smiled at him. He let a small smile emerge, but he he quickly refocused his attention back on the-man-with-no-brain. He was so sexy, sitting cross-legged with his chin resting on the back of his knuckles.

"So from then on I built a hatred for Wal-Mart," the man was saying.

I nodded. "I agree," I said. "Other stores just aren't your taste?"

The Wal-Mart man nodded at me. "Of course!" he said. "Do you know how much a pack of batteries cost!?"

"What about rechargeable ones?" I offered.

Gil looked at me sideways. "We seem to have the information we need," he said hesitantly.

~8~

When we returned back to the lab, we sat in the Tahoe for a moment. The sexual tension was so thick that you could swim in it. I pretended to be busy with my phone, for all he knew I was buying farms. I could feel his eyes on me, sending waves of tingles up my spine.

"Let's knock off for a few hours," he said to me. "Take a little break. It won't be a problem; slow night."

I shook my head playfully."I don't know," I sighed coyfully. "I'm liking this Wal-Mart case. Has me all… hot."

He wrinkled his forehead. "I'm not too sure how I feel about that," he said.

I laughed at the expression he wore. "I found this black, silk-"

"Hey guys!" Nick said as he pounded on the window of the Tahoe.

I jumped, I was too deep in a visual image of that silk garment. Gil swore and pasted on his 'business face'.

* * *

~8~

 **Hey, I wanted to get all my reduxes ( Redi?) out there. So, if you like this… review if you can.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Readers, thanks for all of your reviews. I am going to try and update everything. I hope you are all having a good day.**

 **-katy**

 **~8~**

Gil and I walked slowly back into the building; Nick was trailing along behind. The only image running through my mind was the possibility of what could have been if we hadn't been interrupted. Now, all I felt was hate for my co-worker.

"Nick, don't you have something to see to in trace?" Gil asked him.

"No, Hodges said he'll text me," he said, looking from me to Gil. "Are you two busy?"

"Unfortunately not," I said dryly.

"How did the interview with the Wal-Mart man go?" Nick asked.

That was when I quit listening to him and focused on Gil. He had the ear-piece of his glasses in his mouth and he was lightly nibbling. I found myself wanting the be that pair of glasses.

"Gil!" Brass said as he approached us. "A Wal-Mart in Henderson is calling LVPD. They are reporting bomb threats."

I rolled my eyes. "He couldn't even wait a day!" I exclaimed.

"Sara, you're with me on this," Gil commented, heading for his office.

I gave a nod and turned to walk with him. "Do you want me to get a kit?" I asked him.

As soon as we stepped into his office, he quickly closed the door and shut the blinds. He did all this so fast that I was amazed. He pulled me into him dramatically and let out a growl-I think it was a growl- of satisfaction.

"I need you," he whispered into my ear. "How about we make it an early night? After this last stop, we'll go back to my place…"

I am not going to lie to you, he was whispering delicious things into my ear. It made the sight of him nibbling on his glasses look like small potatoes. I put my hands around his neck and brought my lips to him. Just fuck it all, especially the Wal-Mart-hating nut job.

"Let's get this over with I guess," he sighed.

"The sex?" I asked. "If that's how you feel about it the-"

"No.. no..no..no,"Gil said.

I grinned. "I know what you meant," I said as I gave him one final kiss.

~8~

If there is one thing I enjoy: it's dirty talk. I love it when I man I am interested in tells me what he wants to do and how he wants to do. This is what I had planned for our drive to Henderson, but my dreams were thwarted because Brass rode with us.

"What was wrong with your car?" Gil asked him, obvious disdain in his voice.

"Engine's a little too hot," he said, looking back at me with a wink. "Hey I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"No," Gil breathed out.

Did I see what I think I just saw? What did Brass' little wink mean? Did he know? Did we give that tell-tale smell of two people who had the hots?

~8~

"Well, this sends a very clear message," I said, reading the spray painted words on the side of the building.

The sign said 'Wal-Mart Sucks' and 'Sucks' was spelled with an 'X'. I guess if people wanted to be serious, they got fancy. I snapped a few photos of the art work and looked around on the ground for anything useful.

"You would think he would have more to say," Gil said as he stepped up beside me.

I shrugged. "Maybe he couldn't spell it right," I offered. "Okay, I need to go in and pee."

Gil rolled his eyes. "A woman in a Wal-Mart," he said.

~8~

"Gross," I commented to myself as I left the bathroom, wiping my hands on my pants. "Of course, why would they have soap if they don't have checkers at the counters?"

"That's what I've been saying," I heard the Wal-Mart man say.

He stepped into my line of sight, right next to the fish tanks. Now, is it just me or they put those things there on purpose.

"Have you been calling in bomb threats?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Just wanted to ruin their business for the day," he explained.

I began to feel uncomfortable. "Hey, my friend, the nice man with the beard, is here," I said to him. "Why don't we go and chat with him about how nasty the bathrooms are?"

He looked curious. "Do you think he'll take my case on?'

I gave him an encouraging smile. "I think he'll be very glad to see you," I explained.

~8~

I was right about one thing, Gil was very glad to see him. He patted Brass on the shoulder and soon both men walked over to me and the crazed maniac.

"Why did you write on the side of the building that you were calling bomb threats to?" Gil asked him.

The Wal-Mart Man shrugged. "Seemed like a good idea at the time. "

"Where did you get the spray paint?" I asked.

"Here at Wal-Mart," he admitted,

I was confused. "So, you hate them but you are helping their business?" I asked.

"Okay buddy," Brass said. "Let's go."

It was sad seeing handcuffs on the man.

~8~

On the way back, Wal-Mart Man fell asleep. Brass volunteered to sit beside the man-which is good because I did not want to. His snores vibrated the entire SUV.

"Sara, I think this guy is sweet on you," Brass said from the back. "He followed you like a little puppy."

I grimaced. "The thought of him thinking about me like that makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a dull spork," I said

Gil grinned at me. "He could give you a Wal-Mart," he said.


End file.
